A Package Deal by Mia Kerick

Author:Mia Kerick [Kerick, Mia]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi

Chapter 22

Tristan

THE only person who would understand this was Sandy.

I mean, it wasn’t as if I was kicking Savi to the curb as my number-one confidante, but she was just too close to this situation for me to separate her feelings and her needs from my own. In fact, Savannah’s heart and mind and soul had been completely wrapped up with mine ever since the day she’d found me in Gus’s basement.

“Sit down, T, and tell me what’s got you acting as serious as a heart attack, instead of your usual goofy self.” We stood together outside near the loading dock. Sandy lit up a cigarette and puffed in.

It was cool but not too breezy, even though we were near the water, so I knew it wouldn’t be too cold to stay outdoors and talk for our full break. Outside near the busy street, I could relax a bit and stop clutching onto my feelings with such a tight fist. “I’ve just been thinking a lot about, well, about how—you’re gonna think I’m nuts to ask you this—but how did you know for sure that you wanted to be with women?” I reached up and ran my hand through my hair. “No, no, that’s not really it. I know my sexuality, even if I don’t broadcast it. What I really want to know is more like how did you know without a doubt that you wanted to act on it with a woman, you know?”

“Why? Do you think you’re a lesbian?” She smacked me hard with her free hand, and then pulled the red lipstick-smeared cigarette from her lips to laugh at her own joke. “I’m just kidding, honey, you know that.”

“Seriously, Sandy, I need to know.” I didn’t even smack her back. “How do you know when you’re ready? I mean, when it’s the right time to do something?” I blushed, knowing that these questions must’ve sounded extremely naïve coming from the mouth of a twenty-three-year-old man who’d started having sexual intercourse when he was barely eleven.

“Okay, Tris, I’ve told you before, I always knew I liked girls. Back in grade school, before I even knew about sex, I just wanted a lot of closeness with other girls. As I got a little older, I had these minicrushes on some of my friends, if you know what I mean. I was ready to act on it, and I actually did act on it at the end of high school. And I’ve been acting on it ever since!”

This was a perfect example of what I loved about Sandy; she put my needs first. Her curiosity over why I was asking her all this stuff took a backseat to her desire to help me by providing me with the answers I needed. Often, in more detail than I wanted. “Well, Sandy, I don’t really know anything about how normal sexual relations play out, that’s why I’m asking. My grade school years didn’t offer me much of an opportunity to reflect on who I was or what I wanted, that is, beyond food and a corner to hide in.

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